Category Archives: Jesus in this life

Death On Purpose


“God, you are good! God, you are GOOD! I don’t know why you’re allowing this, but I know you’re a good God in it all, and I trust you.” Cleaning the kitchen in order to distract myself from the depressing feelings, slight anxiety, and slight health struggles, I pray this over and over till I feel it. The biggest worry I’ve had in my life has been my health. Through bigger trials though, I have become much stronger in trusting God and worrying less. Lately, I’ve seem to hit a little speed bump, like as if satan has sent his annoying demons to pester me. Just enough to steal some joy and get me worrying.

I am in awe of God in these times. Every time I go through a season that has me feeling weaker, God’s voice seems to be louder and he seems to speak more often. Last week he spoke to me 3 times during my church service and twice the night before! I really needed it that night, and he knew.

Currently I’m reading through the book of Acts, having just finished the book of Luke, it seemed the obvious choice (they have the same author, and he wrote Acts write after he wrote Luke). As I was reading chapter 3 this morning, I saw Peter essentially yelling at the people after he and John, through the power of the Holy Spirit, healed the lame man. “Men of Israel, why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we have made him walk? The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of our fathers, glorified his servant Jesus, whom you delivered over and denied in the presence of Pilate, when he had decided to release him. But you denied the Holy and Righteous One, and asked for a murderer to be granted to you, and you killed the Author of Life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses.” Can I just say, it sounds a little like Peter had some bitter feelings, and rightly so. But in his righteous anger I see a different point being made.

As I read this it dawned on me. If God could plan, from the beginning, that His OWN son would have to die the worst death in order for a very good thing to take place, then isn’t it possible that the horrible things that happen in my life could be set in place in order for a very good thing to take place?

I mean, my goodness! How is it that I always feel like the bad things happening in my life are somehow not in God’s plans? During my trials I always, initially, feel bleak about it, like, “No good could possible come from this.” But I have learned to pray the prayer at the beginning of this post because it reminds me that God is good and allows all things in his goodness. Even death…

So I am reminded today that my crap couldn’t possibly make me feel as bleak and hopeless as the disciples and followers of Jesus felt in the 3 long days after Jesus died. To them, death had defeated the one they thought had come to deliver them, the Messiah! I can imagine trust and doubt had a showdown, and for some of them doubt was probably winning. I mean, the worst-case scenario happened. The thing Jesus was supposed to defeat, had defeated him. Or so they thought. And I imagine God was looking at them the way he looks at us when we doubt him in our trials, “Oh ye of little faith, hang on a little longer and you’ll understand.” And when they saw Jesus face-to-face, alive and well, 3 days after his death, it ALL made sense.

So I am reminded today, that this little trial I am going through was in the plans since God knew me. Though satan thinks he’s winning when he sees me struggling, God knows, and I know, that God has already won this battle and I will be even stronger when it’s done. And God will get more glory as I see his workings in it all.


What is church anyway?

I have recently started reading a blog by my new friend Eliteinchrist and through this have thought of the topic of this post. The man who blog’s behind this name has posed questions to his reader to really push them into new thoughts. He brings new light to ordinary Bible topics that can often be controversial, yet seem so black and white when presented in his blog. Though, not everyone would probably agree with him, it would take a good look into the Bible, with real research to rebut him. Which I think may be some of the reason he blog’s like this. The reader is forced to pursue the one true God themselves.
Anyway, Elite.. and I were discussing church’s and denominations and it reminded me of how Dave and I still don’t have a home church. We have been to so many church’s in our area (and further), that we have become disheartened by what we have seen. The church of today is either in great need of money because they are building a new (unecessary) addition, they orchestrate like a business, they are cold and unfriendly, or they preach enough on Sunday to get your taste buds tingling but can’t fully satisfy your appetite for the “meat” of the Bible. I know that there is no perfect church, but we aren’t asking for that anyway. We just want a church who stops playing church and has less of people and more of God. My husband started thinking maybe he should give up being a computer consultant and go to school to be a Pastor. I told him, “Great!, because we already have experience in leading worship.” So we’re all set, lol!
We had previously attended a church where the pastor was more like a teacher who really studied and researched the Bible. Every Sunday left us feeling like we’d really learned something new about God and like we couldn’t wait to hear another message next Sunday. We never left feeling guilty, but usually convicted and challenged. We’d get the feeling like we really needed to improve in an area of our lives, but we felt encouraged like we could. Anyway, he ended up leaving to be a chaplain in the army. As sad as we all were, he knew that if he stayed in his comfort and didn’t go, that much of what he preached would be hypocritical because he wouldn’t be serving God the way he told us to. I guess this seems like such a dream church, except that I actually attended this church.
I have realized though, that my constant desire to want to trust a church and pastor is a false hope. The Bible tells me to put my trust in God…and from experience I now really know why. My every effort of fully trusting a person has ended in someone feeling hurt or rejected. My rock truly is the Lord and on Him I truly make my foundation. I know he will never let me go, and this is so comforting.
So I’ve realized too, that I don’t need a church to truly grow in the Lord. Although the fellowship with other believer’s seems necessary in my walk with the Lord, the teaching I so long for is right in my bedroom. The teacher? Jesus. The setting? The presence of God. The time? The Lord waits for me. And the outcome? Leaps of growth and refreshing, and a pouring out of blessings (for both parties).

A New Law…Sort of (Part 2)

Ok, so basically…
Jesus fulfilled the law, this doesn’t mean the Ten Commandments and other OT laws. It refers to all the Mosaic law. The law that people followed for the forgiveness of their sins. The difference between the two is this…
The law that the OT people obeyed for the forgiveness of their sins was a ritual they practiced for just that. Jesus came and fulfilled all of this so we no longer have to perform these laws/rituals.
The Ten Comm. weren’t given as rules to be followed through ritual. Rather, they were given as rules to just live by daily. In all we do keep them in mind and don’t break them, is all. -Like good morals to follow, they don’t change your daily routine (except for maybe someone who is just starting their walk with Jesus).
So yes, there is freedom in Christ, as He has fulfilled the law that would require us to change our daily routine altogether.
My question then is where does tithing and tattoo’s fit in? In Leviticus it talks about men not shaving any hair on their face…hmmm? Did Christ change the rule on tithing regarding what I said in my last blog at the end? In Matthew 5:17-20 Jesus says, (and I read this this morning)

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Then in the following verses he talks about some of the rules of the law and and tweaks them, but only in a stricter sense. Not in a releasing sense. But when Jesus talks about giving to others, even the coat on your back if they need it, does that tweak the tithing law? I’m thinking not, because he would have specifically said so.
As usual, any comments or questions are welcome 🙂

Faith, or just hope?

Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see” (NLT). Many of us know this verse very well and, in fact, live by this verse… Well, at least we think we do. A couple of years ago I finally realized what this verse really means. Like, I had an “Aha! That’s it!” moment, and God completely opened my eyes. A revelation from God that has since changed my life and my thought process on faith.
This past Sunday, Dave and I visited our last church and Pastor Matthew said something that described exactly how I feel about faith, but I could never seem to put it into words. He said that we have many times called hope, faith. That faith is actually when you KNOW it (whatever you’re believing for) will happen, that “you’d be willing to bet the farm on it”. Hope on the other hand, is an expectancy on God, believing it can happen, but not KNOWING it will. We have many times, if not all the time, called this faith. I really believe that we, (as Christian American’s) have become a people of very little faith. Instead we are a people of hope. Basically, instead of praying, “Lord, please heal her”, we should be praying, “You are healed in Jesus’ name!” It has to be decided in our heart before we even start praying, that it IS going to happen! Hebrews 11:3 says “By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen”, we KNOW He formed it, not we hope He did. Which is the exact faith we should have in our prayer’s.
Romans 10:17 says, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” We have to always stay put in the Bible and see things through God’s eyes, which comes from reading His word. If we’re not reading it how can we back up our prayers with it. Because “by His stripes we ARE healed” is what His word tells us and is what we should claim. And if you’ve read the Gospels, you would see that when Jesus healed someone He always said, because of you’re faith you have been healed! The followers of Jesus KNEW Jesus could heal them and that he would. The word of God does not change, therefore if it was by faith they were healed, then by TRUE faith, we are healed too!
If there is something miraculous you are praying for right now, I would challenge you to put your new faith up for the challenge. Remember, nothing is too big for God, it just always seems gigantic to us.